A Hymn Instead Of Myrrh
A Crown Of Sonnets To The Risen Christ, Who Needeth It Not
By S. M. Hillis
"Let us arise at the rising of the sun and bring to The Master a hymn instead of myrrh, and we shall see Christ, the Sun of Righteousness, Who causes life to dawn for all!"--From the Eastern Orthodox Paschal (Easter) service, The Paschal Canon Of Theodore the Studite, Eirmos, Ode V.
I.
O Living Word, unto these words give Grace
And Truth to scale the heights and rise above
The trammels of the world. Oh, lend Thy love
Unto this feeble verse and leave no trace
Of envy, wrath or greed to stain its face.
It must be pure as prayer, that it may move
The heart to sing with joy as doth the dove
At dawn when she doth soar, the sun to race.
Let now the music flow from heaven's hall
As honey from the honey-comb doth drip,
And give unto this ryme the strength to thrive!
Oh hearken, Master true, unto my call,
And let me from Thy Living Fountain sip
That for Thy golden wisdom I may strive!
II.
That for Thy golden wisdom I may strive,
O Thou who art beyond all mortal thought,
Let all things earthly pass from me, that caught
Within Thy Kingdom, I may truly live!
Oh come and dwell within my soul and give
To it the peace I have so vainly sought
Unceasingly on earth, where there was naught
But bitter death of beauty dimmed to thrive
No more. 'Tis Thee alone who art a sure
And steadfast founding-stone on which to build
The house of faith against the wind and rain
Of roaring, rampant passions. To endure
All this, I beg Thee, Lord, to take and gild
My heart with tears that it may bear no stain.
III.
My heart with tears that it may bear no stain
Now cleanse, as Thou didst cleanse the lepers who
Did come to Thee with faith. As Thou didst do
Unto the man born blind, help me to gain
New eyes with which to see my sins. O deign
To rest in me and shed Thy Spirit's true
And living light within my heart that through
Its warmth I may my passions soon restrain.
The mirror of my soul is flawed and dim
With dust of self-conceit and preening pride.
The heats and frosts of love and hate have bent
And warped the glass. Too long have I from whim
To wayward want been tossed by time and tide.
I cannot swim. My strength is nearly spent.
IV.
I cannot swim. My strength is nearly spent
In toiling, tossed on passion's surging seas.
To Thee, O Lord, my wretched spirit flees
In lonely, life-long, bitter discontent.
I pray Thee, Lord, to slow my dark descent,
As whelmed in pride and vanity I cease
To struggle. Grant my soul Thy perfect peace
Which passeth wit of man. My heart is rent!
Yet, though I sink in sin and sorrow deep,
And wave on wave doth inundate my soul,
Though cold, though comfortless seem all my days,
Thy Word can rouse me o'er my sins to weep,
And make of mine enfeebled heart a whole.
How higher far than man's, Lord, be Thy ways!
V.
How higher far than man's, Lord, be Thy ways
Of mercy and of justice undefiled,
Undimmed and unalloyed! A little child
Wilt Thou defend, and yet Thy loving gaze
Appeareth stark and stern, when earthly days
Be done, unto a mortal man beguiled,
Ensnared by chains of pride and passions wild,
Whose soul doth stand immortal, stripped of praise.
It is Thy justice, Lord, which is my due,
For steeped in sins have I been from my youth,
And hardened by the world's woes is my heart.
But unto Thee I come, for thou art true
And certain help for those who seek Thy Truth!
Oh let me from Thy mercy never part!
VI.
Oh let me from Thy mercy never part,
Lest whelmed in dark despair my spirit sink!
Oh let me of Thy living waters drink
And drown in dew the fires of my heart!
Though scarred and pitted deep by blade and dart
Of anger, envy, passion, I will think
Upon Thy mercy, Lord, so do not shrink
From me, for balm to wounded souls Thou art!
Although Thy justice, swift as lightning's flame,
Doth cause my heart to quake in mortal fear
And dread for that great Day of final doom,
Yet while I live, I call upon Thy name
To aid, to comfort, and to bring me cheer.
Thou art my Saviour from my mother's womb!
VII.
Thou art my Saviour from my mother's womb,
O Lord, for Thou canst make or bring to naught
The life of man. From birth my soul hath sought
For Thee in every high and far-flung thought
Which hath been set upon the earth to bloom
Like blossoms 'mid the thorns of death. The tomb
Now holdeth fast the men whose might hath rought
These pure and golden words whose beauty taught
My soul to reach beyond its narrow room.
Yet glimpses only did man's wisdom bring
Of Thee, the Word made flesh who didst create
And set the stars to burn amid the vast
And vaulted skies. In Thee, I find the King
Who crowneth every deed made free of hate
By Man's repentance on Thy mercy cast.
VIII.
By man's repentance on Thy mercy cast,
O Christ, is every worthy thing begun
Or built. For nothing good is ever done
Except Thou sanctify it. Naught can last
Beyond this round of days which hath been passed
Into our hands we know not how. To run
Our race means to repent, and thereby shun
The path of pride, or face Thy doom aghast.
So, unto Thee our souls do cry with voice,
Though faint, yet laden with the scalding tears
Of all the sins which we have done. Contrite
We stand, and in contrition we rejoice
That Thou canst wash our weary, wasted years,
Redeeming and releasing us from night.
IX.
Redeeming and releasing us from night
Of sin, O Lord, is what Thou didst perform
When Thou on Roman rood didst die. When warm
And living flesh was chilled, then stilled, the storm
Of passions ceased its sovereign sway. Thy might
and Thy humility did truly right
The wrongs of man and did confound the swarm
Of demons seeking further to deform
Thy fallen image, once so pure and bright.
And when entombed Thy sinless body lay,
As angels wept and demons stood amazed,
Thou didst descend to Hades' bitter shore,
And there didst free the dead and to them say:
"Arise! Rejoice! By darkness be not dazed!
Behold! I lead you now to Heaven's door!"
X.
"Behold! I lead you now to Heaven's door,"
Saith Christ, the King of kings to those who lie
In cruel and bitter bonds of sin. His high
And noble call can thrill to deepest core
The soul left languishing, and cause to soar
The flesh-enfolded spirit free to fly
Unto the light of Paradise. His cry
Doth man's repentant faith and hope implore.
Arise, my soul! Thy Master calleth thee,
Who ceaselessly hath sought for thee to come
To Him and lay Thy life before His feet,
And all thy cares to cast upon Him. Flee
From pride and passion, be no longer dumb!
Sing praise to Him! Give glory as is meet!
XI.
Sing praise to Him! Give glory as is meet,
Ye children of the Lord our God! On wings
Of song can prayer fly far beyond the things
Of mortal flesh whose voices in defeat
Must sink to silence soon. Yet sure and fleet
As flights of angels, man by music brings
His prayer and praising to the King of Kings,
And He by grace doth make man's music sweet!
Yet not Taliesin, Oisin, nor the bard
Who made the trees to dance in Grecian grove,
Nor even that great poet-king of old,
Could, by mere music, learned in lonely, hard
And bitter years, the King of Heaven move.
The soul itself must sing, the heart be bold.
XII.
The soul itself must sing, the heart be bold,
And be not mired deep in dark despair,
Though life doth seem to murder all things fair,
And love doth end its burning and grow cold.
For though all earthly glory groweth old
And dimmeth into dust, and without care
Doth death imprison life within its lair,
Yet hope doth shine in gloom with sheen of gold.
For into death's dark realm came Christ the Light
To burn away the chains of mortal sleep
Which did encumber those held fast and bound.
So to the soul of man He bringeth sight
And will within Man's heart His dwelling keep.
With Christ is joy undimmed and deathless found.
XIII.
With Christ is joy undimmed and deathless found,
Though all sweet joys on earth grow bitter, turned
By time and circumstance to ashes, burned
And blackened, blunted, broken, bruised and bound
Upon the wheel of mortal flesh. To sound
The depth and purity of mercy earned
By none, but given free to those who've spurned
Their sins, is not for mortal man uncrowned.
For in His crucible of love unmixed
With selfishness and greed, and potent as
Consuming flame that kindleth fire from ice
Doth Christ transmute the lead of passion, fixed
And chained to man when Adam banished was,
Unto the perfect gold of Paradise.
XIV.
Unto the perfect gold of Paradise
Is brought the soul of man, when man hath cast
His passions to the winds, and hath at last
Been freed from earthly vanity and vice
By purchasing the Pearl beyond all price--
Whose sheen the sun's fair shining doth outlast--
And taking it, doth seek to hold it fast,
Despite the cares which can the heart entice.
My soul, what canst thou give for such a thing
As this, when thou art poor and humbly clad,
And scarce can look upon its brilliant face?
Yet gift for gift is asked from slave to King,
And love returned for love, so be thou glad!
In humble heart will hide the jewel of grace.
XV.
In humble heart will hide the jewel of grace,
And set it all aflame with purest love,
Enobling it with mercy from above,
And filling it with light, till not a trace
Of dark remaineth, no fit hiding-place
For undiscovered passions. Grace doth prove
And try the heart, and will all doubt remove
Of God's unending goodness to our race.
But in a heart made hard by pomp and pride,
This jewel is like an adamantine blade
So swift and sharp that it doth tear and rend
This crust of crushing vanity, inside
To find and purge the sins so deeply laid.
With time and tears, all wounds will He amend.
XVI.
With time and tears, all wounds will He amend,
Though they be bloody, bitter and inflamed.
The sting of death subdued, the passions tamed
Will bring man's life of toil unto an end.
For though from Eden Adam did descend
Into a world made mortal by his mamed
And broken will, yet of his children, shamed
And shorn of glory, came man's truest friend.
For not content to let His creatures lie
O'erburdened with the weight of mortal care
By which we were tormented since our fall,
Christ came, He suffered, deigning then to die,
That in our nature He might truly share.
As God, Christ rose, and so gave life to all.
XVII.
As God, Christ rose, and so gave life to all
The hosts of hopeless humankind that lay
Imprisoned, bound within the mortal clay
Which is the consequence of Adam's fall.
As mortal man, He too became a thrall
To pleasure and to pain which hold full sway
O'er man's too-weakened flesh and which dismay
The spirit, and enshroud it with a pall.
But while on earth and when at last He rose,
In triumph and in majesty sublime
Ascending to the Father's blessed light,
He conquered all our seen and unseen foes,
And did transcend the tyranny of time.
In Jesus Christ are all man's wrongs set right.
XVIII.
In Jesus Christ are all man's wrongs set right,
Both those which were by him and to him done
When Satan sought to change man's heart to stone
And exile him to everlasting night.
For Eve did yield to Satan in despite
Of God whom she did know as Father, lone
She was when she allowed the cunning one
To tempt her with his promises of might.
And even then, when Adam too did yield,
They could have been reclaimed, who now were prey
To mortal pride, to pleasure and to pain,
Yet they did not repent but wished to shield
Themselves. Each blamed the other, so to lay
Upon another's soul their self-made chain.
XIX.
Upon another's soul their self-made chain
The demons seek to lay, if lay they can,
And so unto the mind and heart of man
They flock on wings of pride and glory vain.
Against their bonds they roaringly do strain,
Though they did bind themselves ere time began
Unto eternal emptiness. Their ban
They wish mankind to share in endless pain.
And so to Eve amid God's Paradise
Did come the tempter, speaking hopeful words
Of freedom and of wisdom high and rare.
And still we hear the echo of those lies
Amid our thoughts. They scream like angry birds.
'Tis Christ alone who keepeth off despair.
XX.
'Tis Christ alone who keepeth off despair
And guardeth hearts from deep despondency,
That grace might grow within and love flow free,
Unhindered by the heavy hand of care.
The love of life can be as great a snare
As hatred, pride, and empty vanity,
For joy can turn to grasping jealousy,
And death can come 'mid feasting unaware.
But Christ's love doth renew and is renewed
Within a heart made fit for His abode
By true repentance, prayer, and mercy's balm.
His grace defendeth souls by Hell pursued,
And though in life we bear a heavy load,
He will our burdens take, our passions calm.
XXI.
He will our burdens take, our passions calm,
Who did subdue the roaring wind and tide,
And o'er the sea's expanse was seen to glide
By his disciples, being to them a balm
For fear and doubt, as when he showed his palm
With spike-prints wounded, and His spear-struck side
To Thomas, who yet doubted He had died
And was made free of Hell, as saith the psalm.
We need but trust unto His boundless love
Which seeketh not for glory or for gain
to raise us up when we 'neath sorrows fall.
He will all doubt and hopelessness remove,
And change to peace all bitterness and pain,
If we but answer Christ when He doth call.
XXII.
If we but answer Christ when he doth call,
We answer too the longing of the soul
To make her bent and broken beauty whole,
And change for wine her wonted draught of gall.
For though she is to mortal senses thrall,
An eye she hath which seeketh far the goal
Which she pursueth, though a heavy toll
Of time and tears she payeth since her fall.
For once, she sat enthroned on high as queen
Of all her realm and mistress of her house,
And all would come and go at her command.
Yet now, though she hath lost her beauty keen,
Forsaking Christ, her loving, loyal spouse,
In mercy He doth offer her His hand.
XXIII.
In mercy He doth offer her His hand,
Though jealously the heart doth spurn Christ's touch,
And oft aloof doth hold herself from such
As would to her be balsam if not banned.
For firm and steadfast thinketh she to stand
Without the aid of any staff or crutch
In adamantine strength. And so with much
delusion doth she solitude demand.
Yet if she can but bend unto the light
And easy yoke her stiff and haughty pride,
She will at last shed all her lonely fears;
And broken, she will learn to be contrite;
And chastened as bright gold is purified,
In Christ, the heart will shine with precious tears.
XXIV.
In Christ, the heart will shine with precious tears
Of sorrow at the sin which lieth deep
Within her darkened self, for though in sleep
And sloth she slumbereth for countless years,
If once she prayeth, quickly to the ears
Of Him who would His dwelling with her keep
Will come her cry, and He for joy will leap
To rescue her from demons' deadly spears.
Yet though she is from fearsome foes redeemed
By Him who doth redeem all that is lost,
She must endure the piercing pangs of love.
For though her stony walls she hath esteemed
As guardians against death's chilling frost,
'Tis Christ who will with love all walls remove.
XXV.
'Tis Christ who will with love all walls remove
That have been built by mortal minds between
Their souls and that most pure and piercing-keen,
Illuminating ray of burning love
Which He doth send to temper and to prove
And purify the heart of all the seen
And unseen passions which do prance and preen
And make man think he is all things above.
For while, 'tis true, man was vouchsafed as King
And Lord of all the earthly realm by God,
Who made him something less than angelkind,
(And yet, not less by far,) death's bitter sting
He tasted, when by Satan's cunning fraud,
On fruit forbidden willfully he dined.
XXVI.
On fruit forbidden willfully he dined,
Who had the very fruit of life to eat
Amid a world of splendour, where his feet
No stone did feel, nor stinging nettle find.
To no command of God was he consigned,
Except that he should lose his lordly seat
If once his teeth did pierce the seeming-sweet
But bitter knowledge-fruit and rend its rind.
Yet though the earth resounded to his tread
And echoed to the music of his voice
As God decreed for very love of him,
Another gift of love, his will, with dread
Result, he used to make the fatal choice.
His choosing saddened sore the seraphim.
XXVII.
His choosing saddened sore the seraphim,
Whose making was to them a great delight,
For then, they witnessed God's majestic might
Which with the breath of life inspired him.
They saw how into every well-formed limb
Did flow the holy flame so pure and bright,
Which soon did prompt the man to praise aright
His Maker, and to join their endless hymn.
But even as they mourned the fallen king
Of all the earth now clad in mortal clay
For mercy's sake, that Paradise's pain
Might not his weak and sundered senses sting,
They waited for that dread and awesome day
When man by Christ true Eden would regain.
XXVIII.
When man by Christ true Eden would regain,
No angel, man or demon could fortell,
Yet never, since the time when Adam fell
Did knowledge of His coming cease. In vain,
As when a brother's blood was shed by Cain,
Did man with envy, murder, pride and lust
Despoil, destroy and try to bring to dust
The Truth of God, who over all doth reign.
For long-prepared in secret was the maid
Whose womb endued the Living Word with flesh
Of fallen man, that He might truly share
The weakness of the ones whom He would aid.
In Christ, Divine and human did not mesh;
The natures two did meet in fullness fair.
XXIX.
The natures two did meet in fullness fair,
When Christ became incarnate for our sake.
Divine and human did one person make,
That God Himself might mortal weakness bear.
He deigned to take this fallen form to spare
His children from the pains of sin and death.
For this cause should we praise with every breath
The Shepherd who doth show stray lambs such care.
We should therefore not pine o'ermuch for things
We cannot change, or spend our time today
In worry for tomorrow's unknown grief.
Instead, we should seek first the King of kings,
And trust Him, as we work or sleep or pray.
'Tis Christ who sendeth weary souls relief.
XXX.
'Tis Christ who sendeth weary souls relief
From burdens born in battling the tide
Of earthly pains and pleasures. Though denied
And yet again denied by man amid his brief
And broken life, Christ reigneth still as Chief
And Lord of man's true destiny. Though pride
Doth war against man's need for God and hide
It from him, still, it cometh as a thief.
For always will the love for God awake
Within a heart which humbly doth beweep
Its frail and lonely state of exile drear.
When for a weapon man doth firmly take
The cross, he will cast off his mortal sleep.
The cross doth loose from man the bonds of fear.
XXXI.
The cross doth loose from man the bonds of fear
Which hold him fast unto the iron wheel
Of pride and passions forged when man did seal
His life with sin and did his vision clear
Becloud with other visions seeming near
Unto his heart, but which from him did steal
The warmth and peace of God. Yet Christ can heal
The mortal wound by His own death most dear.
For on the cross He shed His sacred blood,
And by that act did cause cruel death to die,
And with it did entomb man's ancient strife
With God, and did reclaim him from the flood
Of evil thoughts and acts that in him lie.
The cross of death is now the tree of life.
XXXII.
The cross of death is now the tree of life,
For Thou, O Christ, hath gilded it with pure
And unfeigned love for man. Thou didst endure
The shame of mocking envy and the knife
more cruel than all: that kiss with malice rife
Which Judas gave to Thee, thereby to lure
Unto Thy side all those who did conjure
The judge to kill Thee, though warned by his wife.
For in a dream, she saw that Thou wert just
And innocent of any deed or thought
Of sin, for Thou wert God come down to earth.
Not knowing Thee, she did Thy goodness trust
And spoke for Thee, the Lamb unspoiled by spot.
To Thee, O Christ, we owe our second birth.
XXXIII.
To Thee, O Christ, we owe our second birth
And every gift of mercy Thou dost give.
In Thee alone we think and do and live,
And by Thee do we triumph over dearth
And death upon this broken, bleeding earth.
Though mortal dreams do pass as through a sieve
The sand doth freely flow, Thou dost forgive
Our sins, and change our mourning unto mirth.
So unto Thee doth all the praise belong
Which lieth in my heart and soul to sing.
In Thee a sure and certain hope I place.
I pray Thee now to help my feeble song
Ascend to Thee, although 'tis weak of wing.
O Living Word, unto these words give grace!
THE END
Begun: February, 2009.
Completed: September, 2010.